why is dating so hard????

Most women wish for their “soul-mate to find them. Today’s women is more assertive and goes out looking for their “soul mate”. Either way, you need to understand what you want and who you are in order to be happy in any relationship.
Are you confident or timid? Are you sensitive or let situations roll off your shoulders? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Are you a work-a-holic or laid back? Do you like to be in control or can you surrender control when the situation asks for it?
It really doesn’t matter your age, type of relationship or length of your relationship. All the above mentioned qualities need to be understood about yourself before you can change your past, present and future. Sit down, pour yourself something cold (or warm if that is your preference) and ask yourself the above questions. Make sure you are honest with yourself. There should be no “test anxiety” because you are only testing yourself!!
Now, consider what kind of person would be compatible with you. If you are a work-a-holic, do you want a partner who is too? Would you have enough time to spend together? If you are a work-a-holic and sensitive, it could be a problem because your partner may not have the time required to make you feel desired, loved, wanted, etc.
On the other hand, if you are a work-a-holic but optimistic, you may realize that time apart is an opportunity to explore hobbies or time with (same sex) friends. There are so many personality traits that have to align before you develop a relationship. You don’t find your soul mate, s/he turns into your soul mate over time!!
Another problem I find common in relationships is the lack of acceptance and understanding of who your partner is. So, here is the short version, the longer version is in my book, “What to do before you say I Do”. Men think in black and white. There is no gray matter. They are analytical and hard wired genetically to be the provider and problem solver! Woman are hard wired to be the nurturer, emotional, and chaotic. The majority of women have had to be the gatherer (groceries), raise the children and take care of the home and all that came with it.
Times really haven’t changed all that much. If you understand that, although men today are more willing to stay home with the children, or make dinner because they love to cook, remember it is not hard wired into them. They are still going to want to take care of you when you feel bad, even if you tell them “you just want to vent!” I like to say, men wear dark sunglasses, style optional! Women wear rose colored glasses, style a “must!” If you understand who you are genetically, psychologically and understand your partner in the same manner………you will get a soul mate!

Susan Ziggy author of “What To Do Before You Say I Do”